Code: Get Cat
by pigelectric
Summary: Explains the origin and resolution of the post it note on MM's bulletin board that states 'Get Cat'  as seen in the video game
1. Chapter 1

When Minion had his mind set on something, he could be quite a determined fish. Knowing the best ways to ply Megamind, Minion saunters up and offers him a hot cup of coffee (with five teaspoons of sugar) and jelly filled donuts from the best donut shop in town.

While Megamind's mouth was happily full, munching on a donut, powder fluttering onto his leather pants, Minion pounced with his question: "Sir? Can we get a cat?"

Megamind paused mid-chew and gave Minion an annoyed look, eyebrows meeting in the middle. "No, Minion. Every time you ask that, I tell you the same thing - no. How will we ever find the cat when it comes time to move the Evil Lair? What if it gets eaten by a brain bot? And the last time you asked, I looked into it and read that cats chew on wires! Can you see how that would be a problem, Minion?" Megamind waves his arm around the room, full of wires hanging from the walls, lights blinking and machines humming.

But Minion was prepared to counter all arguments.

"I will train the brainbots to not eat the kitty and the kitty to not eat the wires. We can always find it by just setting out some food. That's how I find you, Sir; when you are buried deep in the lair on some project. I just set out some coffee near the air ducts and you magically appear!"

Megamind glared at Minion over his cup of coffee, which he had been drinking while listening to Minion's counter argument, and quickly spouted off, "I don't see how having some walking pile of fur is going to help us with destroying Metroman. Therefore, it's not beneficial for our cause to have a cat."

Prepared to stand firm, Minion answered, "Yes, but.. most of the lairs we've been in have had a rat problem. Remember when Metroman defeated us because the robo-laser-deathswine shorted out due to rat poop in the circuits? Cats will defeat the rats, which will help you defeat Metroman! It's a full circle of defeat!"

Minion could see the gears whizzing in his best friend's head, as Megamind pondered the rat vs cat debate. Megamind's long fingers grasped another donut and brought it halfway to his mouth. Megamind then quickly jutted the donut out at Minion, flinging forth a cloud of powder, and growled "Cats are not evil at all! Having a cat would make us look weak and un...evil!"

"Untrue!", cried Minion. "A lot of villains are known to tout cats. Just look at Dr. Evil, Gargamel, and Dr. Claw! Also, we can get you a black cat, so its fur won't be seen on your clothes, and will look extra menacing. Also, the cat can sit in your lap and won't bite as hard as a brainbot next time you have Ms. Ritchie in your evil grasp!"

Minion could see he was winning the argument. Megamind's pride ensured that he must have what all the other evil villains had, and much more. He always had to one up the other villains, and if there was a deficit, it would be quickly filled.

Minion took advantage, jumping in and and continuing: "I'll take care of the kitty. Feed it, clean it, and let it sleep with me. Plus, it gets so lonely around Evil Lair when you are in jail, Sir."

With this final plea, Minion turned on his best 'super adorable fishy face', staring down at Megamind. He could see Megamind's shoulders start to slump in defeat. The ol' fishy face ploy was working!

Megamind stood up, brushed the donut powder off his clothes, and walked over to the bulletin board. His eyes searched the board until he saw the yellow sticky note Minion posted months ago, with the words "Get cat" scribbled on with a red pen. He plucked the note off the board and walked back over to Minion. With a sigh, Megamind handed the note over to Minion and said "I guess you should change this to "Get Kibble".


	2. Chapter 2

With Megamind's approval to get a furry friend, Minion set forth to figure out how to acquire a cat. There was Metro City's Craigslist, full of people posting about pets, but Minion wasn't sure how many would be happy handing their cat to a super villain.

He then perused pet finder's website , but was overwhelmed with all the choices. Should they get a kitten? An older cat? What color cat? Would FIV affect the brainbots! Sighing, Minion pushed away from the computer and lumbered off to start the day's chores. First on the list, go grab the "Secret Entrance" mat and store it in the closet.

Walking outside, Minion enjoyed the feeling of the sunlight filtering through his globe. Megamind would be sleeping for several more hours, so Minion decided to go for a stroll around the Evil Lair, which was an abandoned manufacturing plant about two miles north of Metro City, near a large residential neighborhood. While strolling through the shrubs, Minion heard soft mewling noises. Holding still, he was able to hear more mewling noises and identify the source three kittens in a basket, abandoned under a bush!

Minion looked around and saw footprints in the soft ground that lead over to car tire tracks on the overgrown road towards the plant. The moment he looked back at the kittens, Minion's heart melted, and he nabbed the basket and briskly trotted back to the lair (completely forgetting about removing the mat).

Setting the basket down, Minion inspected the kittens: one tuxedo patterned, one orange tabby and the third was all white. All three were clamoring to get out of the basket, and mewing at Minion. Minion picked one up, amazed at how small and fuzzy the kittens were. It was hard to determine their age, but they seemed to be about two months old based on his research.

*Bowg Bowg!* Three brainbots floated over to inspect the new guests, darting around, uncertain if the kittens posed a threat. Minion turns towards the brainbots and shooed them off, and realized that between the brainbots and the kittens, there was much to be done!

Minion picked up the kitten basket and went back over to the computer. He quickly loaded up the brainbot program and inserted several command lines that alerted the brainbots that the kittens were friendly agents. He then created a sub program for three brainbots to protect the kittens and not let them wander too far from the basket.

With the turn of a watch, Minion turned into an elderly woman, complete with a sweater with a cat on it, and darted out to the local pet store. An hour later, kitten chow (wet and dry), kitty tower, collars and a plethora of cat toys invaded the lair.

Megamind blearily stepped into the main room of the lair, wondering why there was a jingling noise in the distance. "Minion why is there no coffee in the kitchen? You know I need coffee to deal with the daily demands of being an evil genius", Megamind grumbled. Megamind stopped in his tracks at what he saw: his 800 pound mechanical gorilla-fish sidekick dangling some sort of jingling string with feathers, with three fuzzballs jumping after it.

"Minion what.. are.. those and where did they come from?"

"Well, sir, they are kittens! I found them outside. Can we keep them!"

"I said cat. Sin-goo-lar. One cat. Where do humans send cats that need a home?"

"Sir, they put them in shelters. And if no one adopts them, they kill the kitties. We can't put them in a shelter!" For emphasis, Minion held out one of the kittens, which mewed at Megamind.

Staring at the defenseless kitten with a look of horror, Megamind sputtered, "They kill them? And people call ME evil! This will not do. I shall think of a nefarious plan to ensure the kittens will find a home where they shall be rulers of the roost. But for now ... which kitten shall be the four legged terror of Evil Lair?"

Coffee forgotten, Megamind scooped up the white kitten in one hand and the orange kitten in his other hand with a look of concern. While looking from kitten to kitten, fur floated through the air and gravitated towards Megamind's dark shirt. "Minion, although devastatingly adorable in an a-pocka-liptic way, it's difficult to look evil with cat fur all over my suits. Imagine the Black Mamba with white cat fur on it!"

Minion looked up and nodded in agreement. Delicately holding the third kitten in his hand, he said "What about this one? It's mostly black, but he has a white chest and cute little white paws. I believe it's called a "tuxedo" style cat."

Megamind gently plopped the two kittens into the basket and took the tuxedo out of Minion's paws, which started purring against Megamind. "Yes he already has presentation points with a built in suit! This one shall do nicely. He'll look quite nice with an evil spiked collar and my logo dangling from his neck. Now we must think of a name!"

Minion grinned, excited at seeing Megamind connecting with the kitten. "Well, sir, I was thinking about calling it fuzzykins "

"Minion! That is not a suitably evil name. This cat is going to be pet to the most villainous, handsomest genius this world has ever seen, and you want to call it fuzzykins? How about.. Doctor Fur-ocity?"

Minion thought on that and retorted "Kratos, god of snuggles"

Megamind scrunched up his face. "Snuggles? No. Decepticat?"

Minion replied with "Princess Twinkletoes?"

"Princess? Is it a girl or boy? And even if it's a girl, no way to princess".

With a quick check, Minion confirmed the tuxedo was a boy. "How about Battlestar Gallacticat, sir? I know how much you like that show."

"Not bad, Minion, not bad.. but.. this cat needs to be identified with me. I got it: Megamew, destroyer of rats, consumer of kibble!"

Holding the little tuxedo kitten to his chest, Megamind's face softened as he smiled and said in a low voice "Welcome to evil lair, my little Megamew".


	3. Chapter 3

Megamind stumbled out of his sleeping chambers, the vitalizing scent of coffee wafting through the air. His bare foot came into contact with something squishy and cold. Looking down, he realized his foot had directly connected with a dead mouse.

"EW! Gah!" he yelped, stepping back and shaking his foot in disgust. Upon his outburst, two kitties (one tuxedo, one white) came galloping towards him, meowing happily. Sighing, Megamind looked at the cats and muttered "Thanks for the … gift. Can't you learn to use a trash can? I suppose I can program a brainbot to dispose of these so I don't step on them" and lumbered off in search of coffee.

Minion was preparing breakfast, which involved grabbing one of the many stocked up boxes of BooBerry Crunch that were only available during the fall, and pouring it into a bowl. "Good morning, Sir!" Minion chirped. Megamind merely grunted and made for the coffee pot.

"Is everything okay?" Minion inquired.

"Ick, no. I stepped on another dead mouse this morning. Remind me to program the brainbots to take care of that for me. Plus, the cats meowed outside the door at 4 AM and woke me up! I thought they were sleeping with you", Megamind grumbled.

Minion set the bowl of cereal and some milk on the table, and turned to face Megamind. "Well, sir, mousing was part of the reason why we got a cat. They are showing you how much they love you! And Marmy was sleeping with me, but Megamew and Snowball must have scampered out during the night. Three cats are quite a handful."

Megamind plopped down at the table. "You're right, Minion. Time to put _Operation: Evil Adoption Plan_ in action. Let's go through the plans right after breakfast. I think it's time we find Snowball and Marmalade their own Evil Lairs to torment dead mice."

Several hours later, a familiar scene was taking place at the Evil Lair.

Ms. Roxanne Ritchie was starting to come to her senses, tied to a chair in the center of the main laboratory. While waiting for her to gain full consciousness, Megamind positioned himself on his chair, which he had elevated on a platform in order to sneer down more impressively at Ms. Ritchie. Tugging his collar to gain more height, he called out "Here, here, Megamew! Meeegaaamewww! Fuzzzyyy!" and made tsk'ing noises. Unfortunately, Minion had been babying the kittens and now Megamew often responded to the name Fuzzy as well as Megamew. Megamind's calling paid off; Megamew, fully decked out in a spiked collar that matched his Daddy's imposing outfit, along with the Megamind logo dangling from its neck (and a contact number on the back), hopped up into Megamind's lap.

"Did I just hear you say … _fuzzy_?" Roxanne slurred, shaking her head to clear her vision. "Also, I think I preferred the potato sack to the garlic sack. Can we please go back to the less smelly one?"

"The only thing that is fuzzy around here, Ms. Ritchie, is your memory! You know perfectly well we will use any sack we want to kidnap you, and we will never wash the sacks, as you constantly request" Megamind retorted.

Roxanne stared at Megamind's lap, her eyes slightly widened. "Is that a cat? It's sooo cute!" she cooed.

"This is not just any cat. This is Megamew! Vicious destroyer of rats and mice, mass consumer of kibble. He is to be feared. He may bite or claw you at any time. Beware his wrath!"

Roxanne continued to coo at the cat, which perked up at her noises. Megamew hopped off Megamind's lap and trotted over to inspect Roxanne. Megamew then rubbed against her legs and purred.

Megamind scowled, and called out "Minion! Please take care of Megamew so we can continue with our dastardly scheme".

Minion appeared from behind Ms. Ritchie and scooped up Megamew. Roxanne looked over and said "He's so cute!" Minion smiled, and replied "I know, isn't he? I had his collar specially made..."

"Minion!" Megamind cut off the conversation, and gave Minion an annoyed glare.

"Ah yes, right away, Sir", and Minion quickly left the room.

"The time has come, Ms. Ritchie, to unleash my plot to lure and destroy Metroman!" Megamind pulled a giant lever with flourish, uncovering a pit of alligators below Ms. Ritchie. Roxanne rolled her eyes and was about to snark off a comment about how she had already met the alligators several times, when something new happened – a cage lowered down from the ceiling to her eye level.

In the cage were two kittens: one white, one orange. Both were romping around happily with each other, with what appeared to be cat toys. "Awww those are sooo cute!" cooed Roxanne.

"Yes, they are cute. Cute enough so feeding them to the alligators, along with you, is truly evil!" cackled Megamind.

"What? You are not only going to risk me, but these helpless kittens? God, that is just so … so.. horrible!" replied a disgusted Roxanne.

"Exactly! Now it's time to call your shining knight in tights to rescue you." Megamind activated a telecom that pirated all local television stations with his direct feed.

"Metroman! I am holding your beloved Ms. Ritchie hostage… plus two adorable kittens ... that will become alligator food in 10 minutes if you do not appear in time to save them! I haven't fed the alligators in days, and they are looking forward to some tasty treats. Come save them, if you dare!"

While waiting for Metroman to pinpoint their location with his x-ray vision, Megamind walked behind Roxanne's chair to confer with Minion, who had relocated Megamew to another room (complete with a full dish of kibble). Together, they watched Roxanne coo at the kittens.

"Perfect, Minion. Our plan is working. See how she can't take her eyes off of them!" Megamind whispered gleefully. "Yes, she does seem quite entranced by them, Sir! Excellent idea!" replied Minion.

Three minutes later, Metroman came bursting through the ceiling.

"Megamind, only you could be so evil to threaten lives as innocent as kittens and Roxanne!" called out Metroman heroically.

"Evil lives to threaten all, Metroman, and_ will_ threaten whoever it wants!" cried Megamind.

"Your days of threatening harmless animals ("Hey!", protested Roxanne) are over!", replied Metroman, while flying over to untie Roxanne and move the cage onto the floor well away from the alligator pit.

"Never, since I consider you to be one of those harmless animals!" retorted Megamind, while positioning a large, intimidating looking ray gun at Metroman.

Metroman zoomed over, grabbed Megamind by the collar and flew off to drop him off in the jail yard. While the Warden was putting handcuffs on Megamind, Metroman could have sworn Megamind smiled.

With his amazing speed, Metroman was back at Evil Lair in less than five minutes to check on Roxanne and found her playing with the kittens.

"Oh, Metroman, look how cute they are! We can't just leave them here. I've wanted a cat for awhile...I guess I can take one, but my loft isn't big enough for two."

Metroman looked down at the kittens and picked up the white one. It was wearing a collar that said "Snowball". The kitten started to purr and its fur drifted lazily through the air towards his costume. He realized that since the cat was white, and he only wore white, this didn't seem to be a problem.

"I guess... I could take this kitten. I never had a pet before. What do I do?" Metroman asked tentatively, while stroking the kitten's fur.

Roxanne looked up at him and smiled. "I grew up with cats. Here, let's get out of here and go to the local pet shop. We need to pick up supplies, but it's pretty easy".

Watching Roxanne and Metroman pack up the cats and fly out of the lair, Minion smiled to himself. Now he had Megamew aka fuzzy all to himself while Megamind was in jail. "Nice job, Sir", Minion smiled to himself. "_Operation: Evil Adoption Plan_ worked out. The first plan we ever had work and the best one so far."


End file.
